The Film 'All About My Wife'

All About My Wife (2012)

8.1

Director

Min Kyu-dong

Cast

Im Soo-jung, Lee Sun-kyun, Ryu Seung-ryong, Lee Kwang-soo, Lee Do-ah

Info

| Korea | 121 min | 2012-05-17

Writer's rating

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It's been a while since I enjoyed a film this much. I'm not sure why, but with incredible focus I ran straight through it for two hours from 10 p.m. on a tiring Saturday night without a break!! Of course, it did mean I woke up late the next day. I keep blaming myself, knowing there's nothing as foolish and wrong as breaking a regular routine, but the film itself was so entertaining and had so many scenes that made my heart clench and race with thrills that I think it was just the right timing to say 'it's all okay.'

Lee Doo-hyun's (Lee Sun-kyun) inability to speak, that 'silence,' is extremely important in the film. When both parties decide they fully understand each other and that silence of saying nothing continues, it ultimately becomes the path to drifting apart. Whether lovers or a married couple, you have to keep getting the other person to talk, and to talk again. Yeon Jung-in's (Im Soo-jung) words struck deep into my heart. Her line about not letting silence guard your space is, well... isn't it a truth proclaimed to all couples? Even stories you've told once before, even stories you've never told once, you have to tell them. No matter how hard, frustrating, and frightening it is, you have to speak. Only then can you communicate and open up your hearts to each other without hiding them.

Jang Sung-ki (Ryu Seung-ryong), who appears as a 'Casanova.' This Jang Sung-ki seems to be extremely skilled at 'pleasing others.' Even if people know the other person's tastes, many of them don't actually act on it. That's the majority, in fact. But the 'Casanova' is a little different. To carry out his 'purpose' of conquering a particular woman, he acts according to her tastes. Even if it feels a little annoying and bothersome, even if it feels at odds with his own values, he does it anyway. All to conquer the 'woman.' It's goal-oriented, and it also means setting aside, for a moment, the values and rules he internally holds, but I'm not good at this. It's because I still haven't found a way to completely separate 'work' from 'life.' But surely there are many people who can do this with ease.. (though it's relative)

At first, Lee Doo-hyun (Lee Sun-kyun) doesn't really understand that Yeon Jung-in (Im Soo-jung) grumbles, and that the reason is that she's 'lonely.' He had always been lonely from the time he grew up. Watching him say that there's no way he could like a woman who says everything on her mind, and her saying that she was close with someone for just two months and after that couldn't get close with anyone and was always fighting, I came to understand Yeon Jung-in's heart a little. As that wife changes, as she starts working, Jung-in stops being lonely. As something begins to fill her 'countless hours.' Even if that something is the radio and meeting Jang Sung-ki. Meanwhile, Doo-hyun begins to grow lonely as his contact with his wife gradually decreases. As the two of them swap situations, he agonizes. He wonders whether he should just hand Jung-in over to Jang Sung-ki like this.

Most male viewers are highly likely to empathize with Doo-hyun. That's because they personally feel, day to day, that there are an enormous number of things they can't recklessly say to their wives even when they're things they dislike. It's no different for couples who are dating, either. You might think you can't possibly say every single thing one by one. But once you start not saying things, misunderstandings arise and silence continues. You start tacitly tolerating things about each other, and in the end you can't reveal what's inside you and only lash out. Just like Jung-in hurling venomous words at Doo-hyun. Grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble..

It's understanding each other only with the head and not with the heart; knowing but not doing.

'Earthquake' and 'coincidence' are the most central among this film's keywords. First, the 'earthquake' is both the beginning and the end that connect Doo-hyun and Jung-in. Through an earthquake, the two met and went around together. The first freshness and feelings of when Yeon Jung-in was pretty and Lee Doo-hyun was cool, when they kissed often and dated in Japan being 'reunited' again through Jang Sung-ki is highly contradictory. After all, the flutter they could have created on their own gets created through the Casanova. This earthquake strikes them in the latter half of the film, threatening their 'lives' while they're fighting. And at the very end of the film, Jung-in, mistakenly thinking an earthquake has struck, goes under the table, which makes Doo-hyun recall the old days, and the film wraps up with him saying that since he's met a beauty, he'll treat her to a meal. The second is 'coincidence.' Jang Sung-ki classifies women, saying there are women who believe in coincidence and women who pretend not to believe in coincidence. Jung-in is 'the latter.' As Jung-in starts working, Jang Sung-ki begins to create inevitability disguised as 'coincidence.' The things Jung-in would feel are coincidences, Jang Sung-ki turns into 'inevitability.'

To digress for a moment about coincidence, the fact that Lee Doo-hyun met Yeon Jung-in in Japan during an 'earthquake' situation (the first coincidence) is a coincidence, and the fact that another earthquake strikes while they're fighting is also a coincidence. In daily life, all facts are 'coincidences.' They're coincidences disguised as 'inevitability.' That's why coincidence is important. These pile up and up and end up giving value to the 'one and only' life that can never be replayed. You can't even criticize a novel for having a symmetrical structure, because life itself is already a coincidence, and life too is amply made up of coincidences!

Watching this film, I'm coming to the conclusion that it's better to act if you know. That's because I feel it's better for the other person. While doing things 'as you understand them with your head,' if there's something to do at the same time, it's to share more of my own story. To tell them how I'd like things to be done for me.

Two conclusions.

Whether to meet someone similar from the start, or to meet someone different but adjust to each other. I raise my hand for the latter. I prefer the side that makes an effort. Of course, the former isn't bad either. But the one you learn from will be the latter. So I'll make an effort. More than before. And even if I don't become a 'Casanova,' I'll set my values aside for a moment and change myself. In order to meet someone else's standards.