As I Wrap Up Two Years..

Season 2 had so many stories I should have recorded more of.

But I don't have enough leisure to record everything either, and now that my life here is coming to an end,

talking about the past feels like such a distant thing that I think I'll end the story with this.

Human relationships seem to be like that too.

Once it's all over, you get that feeling that it was nothing at all.

Is that just how people are? I've always lived carrying that kind of question.

When I discovered a difference between me and someone else, even how I should accept it wasn't an easy matter—

whether to deflect it and create a problem, or to accept and acknowledge that person's nature.

A relationship where I feel it was about half and half, but the other person can't help but feel I deflected more often.

That seems to be what a romantic relationship is.

Inside the army, I did a two-year time attack for the first time. The first time in my life.

Until then I'd never had to time-attack two years. At most I time-attacked one year for the college entrance exam.

To that extent, two years is, among the spans of time I've felt in my life so far, one I can call long.

I didn't record perfectly, one by one, exactly how many books I read,

but even just having jotted down the list of books I remember feels somehow gratifying,

and being able to steep myself in emotion every time I reread the letters I received here makes me glad,

and meeting people I'll be with for a lifetime is really nice too,

and I think I learned a bit about how to deal with the things I feel are unreasonable,

and agonizing over the future for quite a long time seems to have deepened me as well..

I still have a long way to go. Still, I don't think of the present as only bad.

For me, the remaining 3 or 4 days here will be days that feel like a month or two,

but still, I think I should take some time to look back on what I've done.

I want to pull out all the leaves I took and at least record what I did.. no, I think I have to.