Week 3 / Individual Counseling / 160331

A slightly more tired face than week 2; this is because I went to sleep late the night before. It really does seem I shouldn't sleep late even for a single day a week. I think you need a 'regular lifestyle' to properly take care of your body. In any case, today I succeeded in talking all the way down to the 'root.'

The biggest reason I started counseling is the skepticism about the methods I'd chosen in human relationships up to now. Because doubt arose about whether the idea of 'treating people sincerely' was right or wrong, I went through a confusion of values. I went through a confusion of values far greater than I'd thought. Going through a confusion of values to this degree is a matter on the order of the incident that arose from a quarrel between close friends after I was discharged from the military. In the end, the reason for counseling is that uncertainty arose about the way of approaching 'human relationships,' and because of that it became hard to meet other people. Although it's a process of healing after being hurt by some event, in that process there can't only be 'enjoyment.' It seems there'll be more roughness.

The sentence-completion test and the MMPI finished earlier than expected (to a shocking degree), and it was remarkable that I could write things out right away with less thought than before.

The thing that stays in my memory most among the things the counselor said is that, though it's hard and difficult, I possess a 'sturdiness' that can overcome it. That I possess 'sturdiness,' that I recognize 'uncertain things' as uncertain, that 'emotion' isn't primary but that most of my life is composed of 'cognition -> emotion,' and so on..

I'm looking forward to next week even more.