1. Suicide-prevention pledge
On the question of whether I'd ever attempted suicide, which came up while doing the MMPI, I answered yes. There had been such times.
The reason I didn't go through with it? The first time I was afraid, and on the second attempt it felt like I shouldn't.
I had to write a pledge that I'd contact such-and-such a person, and this single sheet of paper was very hard for me. Writing down someone..
In the daytime I write down someone, at night I write down someone...
It wasn't my parents. And even if I'd had a girlfriend, it probably wouldn't have been her either...
It was only friends. In the end, after agonizing over that paper for 20 minutes, I wrote down a friend's name and came out. Along with the number.
2. Working through hard things
'Parents' are not that target. A girlfriend, too, mostly hasn't been that target, it seems. When I have something hard, the ones I talk to are 'friends.' It's because, whether girlfriend or parents, I don't want to see them become uncomfortable after hearing my story, I don't want to be a burden.
3. Parents?
Come to think of it, this habit formed from quite a young age. When my grandmother and grandfather were alive, I used to talk to them, but after both of them passed away, I didn't talk to anyone and just suffered inwardly. Maybe because of that, even now, though my parents would worry if I told them (because they're my parents), I don't want to talk to them. They're far from being 'a trustworthy conversation partner' for me. Friends are closer.
4. New stories
Expressing a sense of restraint through 'clothes.' Self-control, self-regulation, and so on..
5. I want to buy clothes.
I think I need to buy some clothes.
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