Ferdydurke - Witold Gombrowicz

Ferdydurke

Author

Witold Gombrowicz

Publisher

Minumsa | Published 2004-05-15

Category

Novel

Book description

Through various narrative methods, the fictitiousness of a mature world, an ordered system...

Ah! I was in such agony. Terribly agonizing...... I could never escape from her. No matter how I tried to escape, I couldn't. Even mocking her to my heart's content in my head was of no use. What good is it to mock someone who has their back turned to you? In the end it was no different from paying homage. Because hidden within that kind of mockery is a dramatic desire to win the other's favor. If I mock her, it's precisely to adorn myself with the feathers of mockery. Because she rejected me. But that attack ultimately comes back to me. Meanwhile, my mug grew uglier and more repulsive...

Honestly, while watching the 'duel' between Syfon and Miętus, I never imagined this book would be this interesting while at the same time making me feel such empathy, but gradually I became absorbed in this book and ended up seeing it through to the end. The book was written using the opposition between 'subjects' to such a degree that the word 'contrast' might as well exist for this book. It gave me several insights, the biggest being 'the opening doesn't matter that much,' the second being 'the emotion called love is very complicated,' and the third being that there are indeed some books that insert the author's opinions directly without any special technique.

Perhaps, no, definitely, 'Ferdydurke' is a more sizzling book than the 'Pornografia' I read before, and the more I read it the more absorbed I could become. Because the two books differ in overall structure and the development of the story, it's hard to say which is more outstanding, but I think it's clear that 'Ferdydurke,' even though it was published earlier, was a 'masterpiece.'

First I'd like to talk about its distinctive method of developing the content. Honestly, at first it bewildered me. But as it moved into the latter half, perhaps because I'd adapted, it was definitely 'helpful.' The premise that the 'protagonist' himself wakes up to find he is 18 rather than 30 isn't a setup you easily encounter anywhere, so at first I was quite flustered. But that was the most basic 'setup' for developing the story. The world seen at 18 becomes a 'reality' in which this kid is nothing but an 'old-young thing' and therefore must be educated and taught as a 'subject' who must become pure. The teacher 'Pimko,' whom he meets in the midst of this, is a figure who demands and tries to instill 'purity' (though strangely he also pines for Zutka, who is the opposite of that), and the protagonist 'Józio' comes to stay at Madame Młodziak's house through Pimko's introduction. (By 'Madame's house' I don't mean 'private property' the Madame owns, but an educational institute the Madame runs; it becomes the place where, belonging to this institute, he falls for the modern schoolgirl 'Zutka.' It's a place where one must keep becoming pure.)

If you unpack the story of Syfon and Miętus, you could discuss 'innocence' and 'corruption.' Innocence isn't quite the meaning of naive; hmm... in a way it could be virgin, and it could be pure. (Both virgin and pure are needed at the same time.) These two subjects and 'Syfon' and 'Miętus' are closely bound together. Syfon himself is 'purity,' and Miętus himself is 'corruption.' Miętus's attempts to corrupt Syfon (by keeping him from having conviction), and Syfon's act of sacrificing himself to gain complete liberation from Miętus and at the same time 'purity,' are similar to a kind of 'turf war' and at the same time signify the opposition and clash of two ideas. In the end Syfon wins. Purity wins. If you think 'this purity isn't necessarily right,' that means you lean more toward a Miętus-like disposition, but if you say he certainly paid a noble sacrifice, then 'Syfon' is the one who won. (Actually, who wins doesn't matter much...) In drawing out this structure, the author tried as hard as possible to make it feel like 18. To make 30-year-old Józio really feel like he's 18 (to express it as if it were true—and within the novel it actually is true), he made it real with the part where students take sides and declare they'll duel each other. But since this whole story is ultimately an absurd situation arising from the old-young 'Józio' suddenly becoming 18, it seems wiser to view it as a clash between two values the author pursued, set within 'immaturity.'

As for the story of Philidor and Anti-Philidor, even I don't understand exactly what story the author was trying to tell. I understand it's 'analysis vs. synthesis,' but if I had to put it, it seems similar to the debate of the forest versus the trees. Was he trying to convey the fact that the individual composes society, and that society cannot exist without the individual? In the duel between Philidor and Anti-Philidor, Philidor wins in the end, but who won perhaps doesn't matter much.

The modern schoolgirl 'Zutka' is the object Józio falls in love with. The actions of this beautiful, neat, free, calm, and cool girl are condensed into the word 'modern.' (Between the modern and the old, people these days choose the modern a lot, but whether what came before is really so much worse than what we have now is worth thinking about. The fact that, growing up, things keep getting linked only to words like 'old-fashioned' makes it even worse.) He comes to love this modernness, but decides in the end to bring down Zutka, who won't look his way. To bring down the solid, ironclad fortress, he happens to meet the 'icon of corruption' Miętus, talks with him several times, and then, by making Pimko and Kopyrda appear at the same time, and by showing that situation to Młodziak and his wife, he demonstrates a complete 'collapse.'

The collapse here isn't simply the collapse of 'Zutka' as an individual. In a way, you could see it as expressing, in her stead, the total collapse of 'modernity.' The author probably wanted to show that the very word 'modern' is ultimately something decided by others. He criticizes existing value systems and the fact that even this thing called a value system isn't something one could make oneself, but rather an 'assorted gift set' assembled after seeing, hearing, and experiencing the things of others. The author says it's worth pondering at least once whether what I truly feel is governed by my own mood, or whether my mood is governed by watching how the people around me react.

Then the schoolgirl, noticing I was close by, was startled. She moved her body very briskly, propping the edge of the table with her hand, and perched on top of the table. In the faint light of the setting sun, her face was clearly revealed. It was an expression both anxious and delighted. It was as if she had sat down ready to play. American women perch on the edge of a boat like this. By the single fact that she had sat down, I was feverishly excited. Wasn't it at least a tacit agreement to prolong this situation...... She didn't seem about to get up soon. Sitting in a comfortable posture......With a pounding heart, I noticed that the schoolgirl was now displaying a few of the charms she possessed. She lowered her head slightly and, moving her feet as if nervous, made a pouting expression with her mouth. But even so, her big, modern eyes were cautiously turned toward the dining room. It was to see whether the maid was there. After all, if the maid saw us, who hardly know each other, in such a strange posture, what would she say? Would she think we were putting on airs? Or would she think we were being excessively natural?

Girls enjoy this kind of danger. Dim girls, girls who need darkness to show what they can do, I felt I had conquered her through the violent naturalness my own contrivance possessed. I put both hands in my jacket pockets. With all my nerves drawn toward the schoolgirl, watching even her faintest breath, in silence, but passionately, with all my strength, I was with her.

For my girlfriend too, a certain darkness seems to be a good weapon for radiating her charm. Both while reading the book and after reading it, my girlfriend wouldn't leave my mind the whole time, which is so nice yet sad, but I want to think of it positively. Because every book I read can ultimately be a tool for reconfirming my own feelings and a 'framework' for understanding how the other person treats me.