Love As If You've Never Been Hurt.

Many, ordinary people live carrying their own experiences. Among those experiences are good ones, but also bad ones. In particular, memories of betrayal, disappointment, and pain received in a relationship with someone tend to create a situation where they don't stop with the person who gave that memory but get applied again and again when looking at others too. As that goes on, the more our wounds pile up, the more we come to view new people not with feelings like expectation and hope but with worry and anxiety. This is one of the most basic defense mechanisms ordinary people exercise. But I find these defense mechanisms saddening. It's because, even though A who hurt you before and B whom you've newly met are separate beings and should each be seen as different beings, people fail to do so. Many people want to be accepted by others as a distinctive, individual subject rather than being accepted as someone's replica. Yet the very 'I' who holds such a heart looks at new people through past experiences. Saying this person will be like this, will be like that. This is probably the imperfection of humans. So even as I find it saddening, it just becomes understandable. Well, in the end it's something one chooses. You've probably heard this saying: 'Love as if you've never been hurt.' The message of this saying is exactly this piece of writing. The message to treat others just as my own heart wishes to be respected as an individual subject.

These few days, thoughts like these came to me.